


Hot Mess

by gemerenchang



Series: you're  a hot mess (but I'm falling for you) [1]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, The Avengers - Ambiguous Fandom
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Clint Angst, Fluff, M/M, Tony Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-17
Updated: 2013-08-17
Packaged: 2017-12-23 20:25:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,675
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/930762
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gemerenchang/pseuds/gemerenchang
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony screwed up.</p><p>Tony screwed up bad. Really, really bad.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hot Mess

**Author's Note:**

> Pre-Iron Man 3, or disregarding it. Take your pick.
> 
> The title is because I like the song Hot Mess by Cobra Starship.

Tony screwed up.

Tony screwed up bad. Really, really bad.

"You’re being melodramatic." Bruce comments, eyes never leaving the screens that are showing the current results of his latest experiment.

No, Tony thinks. He’s not being melodramatic because it is a serious matter and he would really like it if Bruce takes this seriously.

"So you love Clint. I thought that was the whole point of being in a relationship with someone." Bruce continues. He has this strange ability of making everything sound so unimportant, with his mannerisms and his I am Calm and Reasonable tone. 

Bruce doesn't understand though. He just doesn't understand the gravity of the situation.

"Tony, please stop talking to me in third person, I'm right here. When was the last time you've slept?" Bruce sighs and he sounds as tired as he looks. Wow, kettle much?

"At least I know I ate in the last twelve hours," Bruce grumbles back.

Tony leaves the lab because he's going to sleep, because there's a hot archer in his bed and to find a new science bro. Jane Foster might be up for the position.

And ugh, Tony screwed up bad, he realizes once again when he looks at Clint sleeping peacefully on their bed, because all he wants to do at that moment is to snuggle to him and- and-

Fuck, he really needs to sleep.

***

Tony mainly doesn't know what to do with the revelation. He's not prepared for this kind of thing. He can't pull things out of his ass for this either. He wants to tell Clint, but also would like everyone to forget that he has feelings. Mainly, he wants to forget that he has feelings. 

Bruce frowns. "Why?" He says in exasperation.

Is he talking out loud again? No, Tony realized, because Bruce is looking at a Hulk fanart in which the big guy is really, really endowed. God bless the internet.

"Why not?" Tony quips and tells J.A.R.V.I.S. to save fanart.

See, this is what happens when you're not sympathetic to Tony Stark.

***

Clint stares at him. "Is this normal?"

"It's just a stuffed shark toy, relax, here." Tony hands the toy to Clint.

"But it's... bigger than I am."

So Tony has an explanation for this. He was in Japan for a thing. And it happened to be Shark Week and he saw this in one of the shops (because Japan has shops for everything) and he thought of Clint but he doesn't know why. He keeps thinking of Clint these days. More often than before. You know, before he screwed up. But he doesn't say these things because Clint took the shark toy and grinned. So maybe Tony's heart skipped a beat, no big deal.

"I'm gonna go show this to Nat." and he leaves but not before pecking Tony quickly on the lips, easy and casual. Like married couple that had been married for years do and yeah, Tony screwed up.

***

There's only two people who can touch the arc reactor and not get punched in the face. Those people are Pepper and Rhodey. 

But then one night Clint tries, hesitantly while looking up, asking for permission, Tony finds himself nodding, consenting before he even thinks about it and Clint- Clint bends down and kisses it. The feeling Tony got, he can't describe it. He just can't. It spreads from the hollows of his chest to the tips of his fingers and if their sex was more gentle than the usual, nobody can blame him. 

Because now there's three.

***

"You had fun?" Clint asked, a lit cigarette held between two of his fingers as he tries to look unaffected. He's sitting on the balcony of the hall where the charity is being held. All of the Avengers are here, mingling, because it's a good cause and the cause needs money. 

Smoking Clint meant stressed Clint and Tony doesn't know what caused it. He was fine moments ago.

"It's alright, it's fun rubbing salt to the wound in Stern's ego." Tony smirks, leaning on the railing watching Clint smoke, slowly feeling dread. He did something wrong didn't he? He must have, because Clint isn't looking at him with his crinkling eyes when he smiles. In fact, Clint isn't looking at him at all.

"You know, people keep saying 'becareful, don't break your heart' to me when they found out we were dating. Old women in cafes would pat me on the head and say I deserve better. And I just thought, no, I won't get my heart broken, because I'm me. I'm Clint Barton, I don't take things seriously. I make jokes when there's a death ray pointed at my face." He pauses to take a drag but Tony stays silent because god, this is why he can't screw up. He can't take this kind of rejection. He can just see the fucking break up speech in Clint's head. This is why he can't screw up. "But then- but then you do shit like kissing me on the neck when no one's looking, you keep leaning in during press conferences to whisper lame jokes in my ear, and you fucking got me a life-sized stuffed shark toy because you thought of me when you're all the way in Japan and I just- I took this seriously. I took us seriously and this is just fucking stupid-" Clint threw the cigarette on the ground and stomped it out, ready to just leave Tony on the balcony.

Like hell he would just leave Tony hanging like this, confused as fuck, because was that a love confession or a break-up speech or a i-am-disappointed-in-you-because-you-did-something-wrong speech?

"Wait, wait. What?"

"You heard me!" Clint hissed at Tony.

"Heard what, bird-brain? Because all I heard was a bunch of shit about not taking things seriously and then you took things seriously and fuck if I know what you meant." 

Clint just looks at him.Then he just sighs and says, "it's over." And leaves.

See, this is why Tony can't screw up.

***

He feels like clawing his chest out. There's something in his chest and it hurts more than the shrapnels. Maybe there's something wrong with the arc-reactor. He'll look into that, once he's done tinkering with Mark... he forgot the number. He never fucking forgets the number, because fuck he's drunk and his chest hurts and maybe his eyes are swollen and red and-

And the man he loves left him. 

***

"Hey, man." Rhodey pokes him on he shoulder and Tony blinks blearily at him. He isn't sure if he finally passed out from over-exhaustion or he was awake but working on auto-pilot the entire time. It feels like college again when Rhodey guides him to his room to take a shower and to sleep. It isn't the first time Tony screwed up, but this is by far the most painful one. 

"I screwed up." Tony admitted and because Rhodey is the most amazing person ever, he doesn't need an explanation.

"Happens to the best of us, Tone." He says as he lays Tony on the bed. That doesn't make things better but Tony is comforted because at least he has Rhodey on his side.

***

Tony misses Clint. He misses crawling into bed to Clint, pressing his face into Clint's messy bed hair. He misses kissing Clint in the morning when he makes breakfast. He misses the way he laughs when he finds something incredibly funny because he ends up wheezing like he has asthma. He misses his lame jokes and bad puns. 

Tony misses Clint.

So when Tony sees Clint for the first time in the common kitchen since the break-up, he desperately wants to apologize for whatever he did wrong because he can't live like this, because he kept checking and rechecking and there's nothing wrong with the arc reactor. But Clint barely even looks at him and Tony thinks that maybe Clint is just fine without him, because who needs Tony fucking Stark in their life anyway.

When Clint is about to leave the kitchen though, he says "there are leftovers in the fridge if you want some." Then he turns, facing Tony but not really looking at him, "and there are those shakes that you like too. You know, just saying." He scratches the back of his neck, looking as if he's unsure of what he's doing but like he can't help himself.

Something snaps inside of Tony - something must have because the next thing he knows is that he's kissing Clint desperately and Clint kisses him back in equal fervor. Clint is clinging to him, hands clutching his shirt as if he is afraid that Tony is going to change his mind, push him away and not the other way around. Tony kisses Clint as if he was starving for him, pressing their bodies closer and closer until there's no space between them.

"I love you," Tony gasps out when he finally has the chance to, because at this point he really doesn't care if this ends up breaking him. "I'm sorry. Whatever I did, I'm sorry. I love you. I swear, I won't buy you anymore stuffed toys if you don't like them. You can even throw away the shark one if you don't like it, I won't get mad, I promise. I just- I love you. Fuck, I swear, I do."

Clint just stares at him with his beautiful eyes and it looks like he just realizes something. Tony really hopes that realization doesn't involve leaving him, again. "Baby, no, you didn't do anything wrong." Clint says, pressing their forehead together. "I was- I was stupid. I'm sorry. I thought you didn't love me, and this was just something to pass the time for you, and I'm wrong. I'm wrong and I'm really sorry, I'm the asshole here. I'm so sorry."

God, they're both horrible at this. But that's okay. He has Clint now. They can be horrible at this together.

Tony's really glad he screwed up.

**Author's Note:**

> my, uh, tumblr username is zhangnairong, if anyone is interested in following me :)


End file.
